I woke up today at 7am.

My return flight from Vilnius left at 6:40 this morning.

I had every intention to be on that flight, but I missed it. My mistake will probably cost me well over $1,000 depending on if I can get a refund for my plane ticket and how much it will cost me to purchase a new flight home.

This is an incredibly painful situation to be in. From a monetary standpoint, I have just lost a meaningful amount of money. From a psychological standpoint, I have created anxiety and fear.

The pain of my circumstances should have caused me to desperately seek conflict resolution. There is anger about missing my flight and fear about not knowing what I will do and a whole bunch of other emotions flying around in my brain.

In the past, I would have viewed this situation as a disaster. I would have allowed my emotions to cloud my decision making. When I woke up and came to the realization that I missed my flight, I didn’t go to my computer and immediately start finding a solution to my problem. Instead of making phone calls and booking a new ticket, I deliberately avoided conflict resolution.

I understood that I couldn’t change what had already happened, I could only control my path moving forward. So I grabbed a cup of coffee and told myself that I would consider my options once I was finished. While drinking my coffee, I had quite a few realizations.

The first shift in my thinking occurred when I examined the situation from a completely objective viewpoint. I asked myself why I was going home in the first place. My answers were because I wanted to get back to work and start implementing and because I had a Mavericks event in Connecticut to go to next week.

These are two very valid reasons to return home. There’s also the psychology of home in general. Home is our base. It’s a safe place. The whole idea of having a home puts your brain at ease because it removes the fear of the unknown. What goes up must come down. When you travel, you know in your mind that it is only temporary and that at the end of the day you will always be able to come home.

That’s why when presented with the realization of not being able to return home, any normal person would have launched into a mad rush to solve that problem and put their mind at ease. But when I took a step back and examined my reason for wanting to work, I asked myself was that really valid? Did I really need to return home in order to work? The answer of course was no.

I’ve designed my business to be completely location independent. I did that very deliberately. Returning home to work was not a valid reason. The only reason I decided to go home in the first place was because my brain was seeking equilibrium and the idea of home was the solution. In terms of finding a flight right now to return home, working was not a valid reason to base my decision.

I then looked at my 2nd reason, which was attending the Mavericks event. Attending that event will provide incredible value to me so to me it is a valid reason to make my return travel decisions. But that event doesn’t occur for another 7 or 8 days.

So now I’ve overcome the false objections I put up in my mind of having to return home in order to work on my business. I’ve identified that my driving emotion for returning home was the desire to reach equilibrium and I made a conscious decision to accept the unknown of not returning immediately. I also have a clear reason for returning to the US at a specific date in the future.

Until that specific date, I have no valid reasons to return home. This is an incredible freedom.

I’ve been talking about freedom and taking actions to achieve freedom for years. But I was blinded to the fact that I have already achieved freedom. It’s been right there in front of me this whole time and it took getting hammered and passing out around 3am and missing my 4:30 am taxi to the airport for me to realize it.

The frame in which I view this situation has now been reversed. It’s now a question where will I go in the 7 or 8 days that I have and why will I go there. I was invited to go to Poland with a bunch of guys from the camp. I could go there and I could have a lot of fun with them.

But I’m not going to do that.

The real underlying idea here is that safety and fear have control over my decision making. I’ve now made progress in understanding those driving emotions. Going to Poland with the other guys would be a great time, but it would also be the safe thing to do.

In order to achieve growth, I need to hit fear and safety head on and challenge myself by traveling somewhere alone. I think that by being alone and relying solely on myself it will remove so many more false barriers that I have put up in my mind.

Yes I am returning to the States in about a week, but now I need to seriously question myself on why I am living in Philadelphia. At the end of the day, my decision to live where I have been living was based on safety.

As an entrepreneur, I’ve had the opportunity to meet quite a few nomads. I think it’s a cool and trendy topic for conversations which is why many people set out on their journey in the first place. But somewhere along that journey they come to their own realizations and have their own mental breakthroughs.

I’ve just had 1 major breakthrough in my thinking and I’ve identified that safety is the limiting force in my life at this point. If I can overcome safety then I can remove myself as a limiting factor to my own success in both my personal and professional lives.

When I frame it this way, my path forward becomes incredibly clear. I can now use travel as a vehicle to challenge my limiting beliefs. The purpose of travel for me is not to fuck off and vacation to a new city every couple of days. I have very firm business development goals that I want to achieve that would be compromised by a nomadic lifestyle like that.

As I see it now, the next step needs to be settling down in another city or country where I am consistently placed in situations that are out of my comfort zone. Sure, there will be additional trips to check out cool places, but I’ll be settled enough to achieve my additional goals.

In a sense, my path as developed so far is very paradoxical. I’m challenging the idea of home as a mechanism for safety and comfort. Yet my solution is to essentially settle down somewhere else.

When I think critically on how I landed on that solution, the primary reason was because I need a certain level of consistency in my life in order to achieve my business goals. So now I need to ask myself how can I marry using travel as a vehicle for challenging safety as an emotional driving force in my decision making with the need for consistency so I can achieve this other set of business goals that I have.

The solution for that is to travel to new places for an uncertain amount of time. Settle down for the purpose of reaching consistency in my professional life. While I am in this new city I need to continuously place myself in situations that are out of my comfort zone. I then need to be aware of the fact that I will eventually become comfortable again. I will build a group of friends and life will eventually develop into a new set of routines.

Whether this takes 3 months or 2 years is irrelevant. The idea is to be conscious and aware that this will happen and to have the courage to once again pull myself out of my comfort zone. This process needs to repeat until I have achieved the goal I set out to accomplish in the first place.

 

When I first sat down to write, my goal was to challenge the emotion of safety. But challenging safety is not the goal. Challenging Safety is the solution to my problem. Travel is how I will achieve that solution.

The goal is achieving objectivity, becoming a more rational human being, and overall personal growth.

At the very core I think everyone has some driving force to become better. Whether it’s in achieving progress in a sport, growing their business, or developing better relationships it doesn’t matter. We all want to be better at something in life.

The reason we are not where we want to be is because of our limiting beliefs and because of the frame through which we view the world and approach our decision making.

If we can understand how to change our frame, then we can unlock true freedom. We can understand that anything we want to achieve in life is truly possible.

The path becomes clear and it’s our responsibility to take the actions necessary to get there.

As I’m thinking about this and reading through everything I’ve just written, I have to say that I’m truly terrified. Getting up and taking action to plan out my next couple days in Europe is absolutely terrifying for me. Not because I don’t think I can handle myself for a couple days on my own.

What scares me is that I know that planning out these next few days is just the first step. When I take that step, I can never go back. That step is going to lead me into a series of decisions that are going to completely change every aspect of my life.

I feel like I’m in a red pill blue pill situation in my life. By exploring my ideas and writing it all down I have an idea of what it will be like to be awake. But to awaken, I Need to make a whole bunch of decisions that I don’t Want to make.

It’s going to take a lot of courage to set out on a journey to actively conquer emotions. So far I’ve only examined Safety, but the scope of this journey is going to be much much wider than that.